Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Funniest Quotes from 'Easy A'

Filed under: Movie Quotes'Easy A' follows the life of Olive Penderghast (Emma Stone) as an obscure no-body to the popular it-girl at her high school, basically a modern day version of Nathaniel Hawthorne's Scarlett Letter. When her best friend Rhiannon (Alyson Michalka) asks Olive how her weekend went, she decides to whip up a spicy white lie about losing her virginity. But the mild exaggeration takes on a life of its own after it reaches the ears of rumor monger and Jesus freak Marianne (Amanda Bynes), and now Olive has the reputation as the easiest lay in school. With witty dialog and a great cast this comedy is sure to make you re-examine social networking, gossip and public persons.

Here are some of the best quotes from 'Easy A':

Brandon (Dan Byrd): "Do you wanna go out with me?"
Olive: "Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were gay."
Brandon: "You said I should pretend to be straight."
Olive: "I didn't mean with me!"
Brandon: "I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling."
Olive: "The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated."
Rhiannon: "George is not a sexy name. George is like what you name your teddy bear, not the name you wanna scream out during climax."
Olive: "We've had nine classes together since Kindergarten...ten if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which you didn't because you called it science fiction and refused to go."
Marianne (Amanda Bynes): "You've made your bed...I just hope for your sake, you've cleaned the sheets."

Mrs. Griffith: "He's not the sharpest Christian in the bible."
Nina: "Perhaps you should embroider a red "A" on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp."
Olive: "Perhaps you should get a wardrobe you abominable twat."

Brandon: "So, what's with your new look? It's very whore couture."
Principle Gibbons (Malcolm McDowell): "This is public school, if I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe...I get a bonus."

Mrs. Griffith (Lisa Kudrow): "I'm the guidance counselor; I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes."
Rhiannon: "You're being pretty cavalier about this. Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit."
Olive: "Yes...I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants."
Olive: "Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?"
Marianne: "Jesus tells us to love everyone, even the whores and the homosexuals. But it's so hard, it's so hard because they keep doing it, over and over again."
Olive: "Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."

Olive: "If he's so smart, why is your boyfriend 22 years old and still in high school?"
Marianne: "Because, Olive, it's His choice!"
Olive: "Oh, really? His choice? He just wants to be repeating his senior year for, like, the fourth time 'cause he can't pass a single test?"
Marianne: "No, silly,"
[points up]
Marianne: "His. His, with a capital H. If the Good Lord had wanted Micah to graduate, he would have given him the right answers."
Olive: [laughs] "I'm sorry, but, I mean, really? You gotta be sh*tt*n' me, sister."

Mr. Griffith (Thomas Haden Church): "I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought...but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?"
Dill (Stanley Tucci): "The family member of the week gets to pick the movie."
Olive: "You get family member of the week every week."
Rosemary (Patricia Clarkson): "And there's a reason for that."
Olive: "Yeah, you pick family member of the week!"
Rosemary: "Are you accusing me of nepotism?"
Olive: "I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to The Gap, but I'd also take Amazon.com, or Office Max. Actually make it Office Max - I have my eye on a label maker. We did not have sex. I let you fondle my chest, and it was a glorious moment for you. Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced...including cake."
Olive: "That's the one thing that trumps religion...capitalism."


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